Virtual Teacher

Help your child write a list of five-to-ten positive things about himself or herself. When the list is ready, have the child practice by saying the list softly a number of times. Discuss events or times when the child can use the list (e.g. when coping with angry feelings or when teased). Have the child complete an Inventory of Strengths where she lists her positive qualities, skills, and efforts. Questions to answer can be: What are my strengths? When do my strengths help me? Where do my strengths help me? Do I use my strengths? When do I use my strengths? Where do I use my strengths? How do I use my strengths? Use the child’s answers to customize a set of positive self-statements that she can use to reinforce her self-confidence and to stay motivated. Help the child develop a set of positive statements that he can use to cope with troublesome events. The child can use these self-statements individually; several self-statements combined, or coupled with other beha...

The first word of advice is “listen first.” Listen to children with respect, as you would do with a dear friend. When your child is speaking, show genuine interest and be curious. You can show interest by making a supportive comment like, “That’s interesting… Tell me more.” When we give children the precious gift of listening, we are letting them know that we care and that we are interested in what they have to say. Listening first, then, is the foundation, so that, when we are the ones doing the talking, children listen to us. From the speaker’s perspective, some communication strategies that we can use are: Assume that what you want is true . If you talk and act as if what you want is true, your child will believe you. When we assume something, we are sending the message that the child already wants to do what we are asking, for example, asking, “Do you want carrots or celery?” assumes that the child wants and will eat one of these two vegetables. Use positive directions . Nega...