Creating Rapport with the Student that Constantly Disrupts Your Class
Are you having
more negative interactions than positive interactions with a disruptive and
acting-out student? Your ability to influence and to persuade a disruptive
student toward appropriate classroom behavior is contingent upon the bond, or
rapport, established between the child and you. By applying basic child
guidance principles, you can shift the balance from negative interactions and
comments to positive interactions. Some guidelines follow.
Develop the
Ability to Distance Yourself from the Acting-Out Behavior
Increase your
tolerance threshold to disruptive and acting out behaviors; downplay mild
disruptive behaviors and allow behaviors that deviate from what is standard or
“appropriate.” Do not personalize the student’s behavior, and avoid reacting
emotionally. Emotional reactivity to what the student says or does is the
number one reason why interactions between teachers and students turn into
conflict, and the main reason why a conversation turns into an argument.
Remember that teacher tension can often stir up a crisis.
Shift your
attention away from his acting-out behavior and toward increasing recognition
of those times where the child is exhibiting positive behavior and is interacting
appropriately. For example, you see the child sharing his coloring materials
with another student; tell the child and celebrate. It will require a conscious
effort on your part to notice and reinforce positive behavior (a smile and a
friendly remark can be extremely rewarding to any child), while downplaying
mild negative behaviors.
Avoid judgments,
putdowns, and lectures. In addition, avoid making comparisons between the
student and other students in the classroom.
Adopt a
non-blaming attitude; instead, focus on developing positive ways of interacting
with the student, rather than in identifying and disciplining inappropriate or
negative behaviors. In other words, do not be a “Got you!” teacher.
Focus on
developing equality with the student, not domination.
As a first step
in distancing yourself, and the child, from the problem behavior, a child
guidance strategy that you can use is the naming
the disorder technique. Borrowed from psychology, this technique consists
in using a nickname (e.g. Lucy Three-Eyes)
to name the acting-out behavior. Lucy
Three-Eyes is the common enemy or problem, the child is not the problem. In
other words, the “symptom” (acting-out
behavior) is dysfunctional, not the child. When you name the problem behavior,
rather than naming the student, you are not only identifying the common enemy
that you are both dealing with, but you are also giving yourself the
opportunity to create an alliance with
the student to defeat this common enemy.
Be alert, and
recognize the warning signals (e.g. when the student seems ready to start a
fight). See them as signals, not as personality traits or a reflection of the
student’s character. Join the student in defeating Lucy Three-Eyes, which helps you in reinforcing your bond or
alliance with the student rather than alienating yourself from the child.
Address the
Student’s Disruptive Behavior as Actions Capable of Change
This is a basic
child guidance principle that, when remembered and applied consistently, can
turn a chaotic scenario between a teacher and a habitually disruptive student
into a therapeutic interaction. While you should be distancing yourself from
the problem behavior, you should not distance yourself from the child. At all
times, you should be working in building rapport with this student. Rapport with the child will be your best
tool during difficult times.
To strengthen
your rapport with the child, know the student: what he likes, what angers him,
what he is fearful of, what his goals and aspirations are, and to what he
responds positively. At difficult times, listen to the student and understand
his point of view.
Develop a
mindset that recognizes all students’
worth and potential, and always address children’s problem behaviors as actions
that can change and will change. Remember, and let the student know, that she
does her behavior, but she is not her behavior. See the disruptive and
acting-out behavior as a challenge
for both you and the student to master, and see yourself as a strategist and a problem-solver. When managing disruptive and acting-out students,
always remember that you are a professional doing a highly demanding and
challenging job.
During
disruptive and acting-out episodes, shift from name-calling to mutual
problem-solving.
Develop the
mindset, and tell the student, that behavioral self-control can be learned.
Be flexible and
capable of adjusting to any situation.
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