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Language-Based Discipline- Part 1: Manipulating Perceptions Using the Right Tenses of Verbs
We classify verbs tenses the following way:
The Three Doors
Creating Completion with Verbs
Creating Continuity with Verbs
a. Present Tense.
The action is happening now.
b. Past Tense.
The action happened at a specific time in the past.
c. Future Tense.
States an action that will take place.
In addition,
verb tenses can be perfect or continuous. The perfect tenses are:
a. Present Perfect Tense. States an action that is still going on; for example, “Learning about
verbs tenses has always interested me.”
b. Past Perfect Tense. States an action that began in the past and was completed in the past.
For example, “Dr. Taylor had served in
the Peace Corps.”
c. Future Perfect Tense. The action will begin in the future and will end at a specific time in
the future. For example, “I will have
studied for three hours.”
The continuous tenses are:
a. Present Continuous Tense. States an action that is not finished at the time of
stating it; for example, “I am learning about
verb tenses.”
b. Past Continuous Tense. States an action that was happening at a certain time in the past. It
can also refer to an event that took place for a limited time; for example, “I was studying about verb tenses before I
went jogging.”
c. Future Continuous Tense. States an action that will take place at a specific time in
the future. For example, “In two weeks, I will
be studying more about verb tenses.” Alternatively, “I am going to be learning about the verb tenses.”
How verb
tenses and classroom discipline
relate? There is plenty that the tenses of verbs can do to help teachers
improve students’ behaviors. Tenses of verbs are crucial in creating and/or in reinforcing
message meaning, or the specific goal and/or purpose of our communication. In addition, verb tenses help in
connecting students’ self-perceptions (how
children see and interpret all kinds of events, positive or negative; also, how
children interpret and evaluate their behavior) with the specific images that
we want to convey. Most specifically, verb tenses help us shift a student’s negative and pessimistic self-perception of an
event into a more positive and optimistic one. Each verb tense can be seen as
one “door” that specifically connects the mind to a particular time frame, attitude, and mental state.
The Three Doors
v First Door/Past Tense: The door of memories or how things were. When we put the action
(e.g. disruptive behavior) or feeling (e.g. anger) in the past, we start
talking the language of memories. In addition, we can give evidence that
demonstrates change and improvement. This is the best tense of
verbs to use when we are trying to manipulate
negative perceptions, suggesting that things in the present are different
and better. With this purpose in
mind, when we discuss disruptive behaviors or troubling feelings, we get better
results by just placing those behaviors and feelings in the child’s past. For
example:
·
You
made the wrong choice.
·
You
blamed yourself for this bad choice.
·
You
felt disappointed.
·
You
fought for what you believed was unfair.
v Second Door/Present Tense: The door of action, now.
When we put the verb or action in the present, we create a sense of immediacy,
making things tangible and unavoidable. Simply put, the present tense of the
verb indicates action. This is the best tense of a verb to use when we want
children either to act or to take responsibility for their behaviors.
Examples:
·
This
negative consequence warns you.
·
You
put this mistake behind you, and you move on.
·
You
feel optimistic.
v Third Door/Future Tense: The door of possibilities, goals, and dreams. If the past is the language of
memories (how things were), the future is the language of dreams, or how we
want things to be. Right-in-between those two, the present is the language of
actions. Goals and dreams, or possibilities,
can turn into reality with action.
Help children connect those three (memory-action-dream), and you will have more
engaged and motivated students. To inspire
and to motivate students, teachers
need to start talking about goals and dreams using the language of possibilities. To do this, we need the future tense of
the verb. When we put the action in the future, we create a sense of possibility, strengthening the
pull toward what might be. Some
examples:
·
You
will resolve this issue with Sammy.
·
You
will feel better when you do.
·
You
will no longer feel distraught.
Creating Completion with Verbs
Verbs can be
perfect or imperfect. The perfect forms of the verb are the ones that indicate
completion, therefore, when we want
to give closure and show completion, we need to use perfect tenses. For
instance, if we want the child to put a troubling feeling or a disruptive
behavior behind her, we move the discussion toward completion in the past, but, if we want her to feel confident about
a planned action (goal), we use completion
in the future. For example:
v Past Perfect: “You
had blown this issue out of proportion.” (The action began and ended in the
past. The past tense of a verb always increases completion.)
v Future Perfect:
“Sooner than you expect, the anger will
be gone.” (The action begins in the future and ends in the future.)
Projecting
out a pessimistic feeling, or an optimistic dream, to a time in the future when
the negative feeling is gone, or the dream is complete, motivates the child by
showing her that it can be done.
Creating completion in the future
also makes the action easier to accept, increasing the probability of the child
complying.
Creating Continuity with Verbs
Verbs can
also be simple or continuous. The continuous form of verbs is the one that shows continuity.
When we want the child to act; for example, we want the child to think again
about a poor choice, or we want to show him that there is still work to do; we
can do it with continuous tenses. Some examples:
v Past Continuous:
“Are you still thinking about what can be a better choice?” (The action is not
finished at the time we state it.)
v Present Continuous: “Your behavior is improving with
each passing day.” (The action is still in progress, or the action continues
from the past into the future.)
v Future Continuous: “You are going to be learning several
anger management strategies.” (The action starts and continues in the future.)
Coming Soon!!!
The book that “puts it
all together” in one comprehensive source is coming to Amazon, end of May 2013!
Watch
Your Language!
Ways
of Talking and Interacting with Students that Crack the Behavior Code
360+ pages, 8 ½ * 11
Monday, March 25, 2013
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